married without children

Most women's ministries, whether at the church or online, seem to be geared towards mommies. That's just the way it seems to be. I subscribe to a couple of devotional email lists and try to follow certain blogs, and most of them cover topics about motherhood. Then you have the major women's ministries such as mothers morning out and the like.

So, yeah, it makes me feel a little weird being a married, non-mommy. I've had to deal with people who think their two-month old belongs in the adult Sunday school class, not in the nursery. Or the well-meaning congregation members that introduce themselves and the first thing they ask is "do you have any children?" And once, when I responded in the negative, I was asked if we wanted children (to which I really wanted to respond with "why yes, my husband and I are having unprotected sex in hopes of conception").

I'm not meaning to be down on all the mommy-ministries. They're important. And, honestly, there are more mothers than non-mothers in the average church. But it's hard to get involved in a group when you're the only childless woman. Everyone else already has one thing in common, and you end up feeling like the oddball. And a lot of Christian moms don't understand women who are just as devout in their faith but don't want children. Or, if you're like me, and you do want children, but it's just not happening right now, it's awkward to answer questions.

So I guess the moral of the story is, when you meet that new woman in your small group or sitting behind you in the congregation, don't assume and be careful what you ask. Keep in mind not all of us have joined the ranks of motherhood and it can be a very painful and tricky topic.

Is obesity a sin?

I recently read (well, partially read) the post "The Poison of Quaint Moralism" over at The Resurgence. While obesity isn't the point of Tyler Jone's article, one part really jumped out at me:

"The obesity crisis in our culture is a perfect example. We are killing ourselves with things that have the appearance of health but in actuality are destructive. No one has ever become obese from eating vegetables! No doctor has ever said, "Your consumption of grapes is going to be the end of you." No, it's the 2000-calorie hamburger with sausage and bacon on top that is making us obese. Commercials, web advertisements, and billboards depict our favorite indulgence, causing us to drool like Pavlov's dog before we consume to our own death. These foods have the appearance of health but they poison us."

Okay, yes, we Americans, in general, are a fat nation. But this is the second reference to obesity I've seen over at The Resurgence's website. The Resurgence is a website more or less devoted to Reformed theology/doctrine/etc. So why are they so down on people who have weight problems?

As I mentioned in an earlier post, weight problems can point to sin issues of overindulgence or lack of discipline. But is obesity in and of itself a sin? I've watched plenty of people diet, exercise and deny themselves every little pleasure of the food variety....and never drop a pound. These people do not overindulge but rather practice a level of discipline that I stand in awe of...but through a twist of genetics, they just can't drop those pounds.

As a woman, I already have too many expectations placed on me regarding my appearance coming from secular sources...now it seems like the church is going to start chiming in. To be the good Christian woman, do I need to wear khakis, blouses in pastel colors, have styled/colored hair, and wear a size 6? I'm already under enough pressure to have the right clothes, the right makeup, the right jewelry when I'm out in the world. I don't want to have to worry about those things when I walk into church on Sunday morning in order to worship.

Jesus, seekers, relevance and love

"We frequently hear evangelical Christians say that their non-Christian friends are "seeking God" or "searching for God." Why do we say this when Scripture so clearly teaches that no unregenerate person seeks after God? Thomas Aquinas observed that people are seeking happiness, peace, relief from guilt, personal fulfillment, and other such benefits. We understand that these benefits can be found ultimately in God alone. We draw the inference that, because these people are seeking what God alone can supply, they must be seeking God himself. This is our error. In our fallen condition we desire the benefits that only God can give us but we do not want him. We want the gifts without the Giver, the benefits without the Benefactor." R.C. Sproul, What is Reformed Theology?: Understanding the Basics

When I read this the other day, it brought me to a halt. It made think of all of the sermons and books I've heard and read about being a "seeker sensitive church". Of all the ways we scramble to try not to be offensive to outsiders because we don't want to scare them off.

How can we not be offensive?

What Christians believe is offensive at the core: that there is one God and only one way to that God. In our post-modern world of relativism, that's about as offensive as you can get.

So we take crosses out of the church and sing medleys of secular music to tie into our sermon series. And we assume that the seekers will flock to our church, here the gospel somewhere in our cutesy little sermon about how Jesus wants us to be happy, and then grow to be strong, discipled Christians.

But there are no seekers.

Earlier in the book, Sproul had quoted Romans 3:19-18, part of which states "There is none righteous, no, not one; There is none who understands; There is none who seeks after God. They have all gone out of the way; They have together become unprofitable; There is none who does good, no not one". Sprouls uses this verse to build on the concept of total depravity (or radical corruption as he calls it). To summarize the chapter, he is arguing that unless God calls us, we will not, cannot, seek Him by ourselves.

And if you just thought "Oh, God, she's a Calvinist" I would have to say "Yuppers."

But let's put the "C" word aside for now and focus on the gospel.

Jesus states in Luke 21:17 "All men will hate you because of me." That's about a straightforward as it gets. The world has never, and will never, love Christians. We are scorned because of Christ. And really, there's only one way that we won't be hated: we have to get rid of Christ.

And sadly, that's what some people have done.

To be more "relevant", they've torn apart his message, gotten rid of all the "naughty bits" about him being the only way. Gotten rid of all the tough love sermons about obedience. None of that "taking up your cross" crap. Just us and buddy Christ loving the world straight to hell.

I was chastised by a fellow Christian the other day when I expressed shock and disbelief at another Christian's blatant sin. He told me that she was just another hurting person that needed to be loved on. I couldn't help but think "can we really love someone out of hell?"

The Great Commission states: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:27-28) Maybe it's just me, but that sounds like a lot more than just loving on people.

Please don't get me wrong. Loving others important. In fact, it's commanded. And even Christ said that to love God and to love others is the sum of the Law. But my understanding of God doesn't stop there.

I've had a friend that for the past two years has been in a "gray area" of faith: stuck between living a Christian life and living her life any old way. Her theology revolves around what God can do for her. For two years I have loved on her, supported her, encouraged her. I have only gingerly corrected her theology once or twice. Out of concern for her feelings and not wanting to seem holier-than-thou, I have never once challenged her health/wealth/prosperity understanding of God. Loving her has not gotten her into church. Loving her has not gotten her to read her Bible. And to be honest, if I really loved her, and God, I would have the nerve to say "There's more to Jesus than what you see right now. Here, let me show you."

fat v. fit and the Christian

I came across an article entitled "Pastor, You're Probably Fat: 6 Things to Do About It" over on The Resurgence website today. The idea of obesity as a spiritual problem is something that is hard for me to accept. When I go into the local Christian bookstore and see a whole section on health, I cringe. I can't help but think "how does my weight have anything to do with my walk with God?"

However, the article made a few good points (six actually...ha ha). The point that really hit home was this: "The very evidence of fat in a person’s life demonstrates that there are some spiritual areas that need attention regarding compulsions and lazy behaviors." My eating habits really do show my overall lack of discipline in my life. Most of the time when I eat out it's not because its a special occasion or a social gathering, but because I'm just too plain lazy, either to cook or to shop to get groceries. Also, I have a hard time telling my body no. I use excuses such as "I'm stressed" or "it's that time" to justify cramming my face with all sorts of unhealthy foods. Not that I feel I need to or should give up everything I like, but there comes a time for some moderation.

I still don't know if 1 Corinthians 6:19-20* really is a good Scriptural reference for dieting. I'm not buying into those "Biblical" diets out there (like the Eden diet). But I do want to have more discipline in my life, and controlling what I eat will be a major challenge. I've been toying with the idea of checking out the First Place 4 Health books, and this article may just have given me the motivation to try it.

* "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." (ESV)

remember to check your gauge

Crochet patterns usually come with instructions on how to make a gauge swatch: a small sample of fabric that you can check your work against to make sure the pattern will turn out right. Typically, I ignore the gauge swatches. I haven't made a good many clothes and most of the blankets have been for babies, so I've always decided the gauge wasn't that important. But I'm trying a new pattern now, one for a vest, and I want to do my best. So last night I sat down to make my first gauge swatch. I figured I would stitch it up as directed, get it right on the first go, and move on.

I was wrong.

I stitched the swatch twice with the recommended hook. Both times the gauge was off. Then I hit a dilemma. Instructions usually advise a hook size, but then add "or size to obtain gauge". It looked like I was going to have to go up a hook size.

I'm not going to super-spiritualize what is really just a trivial moment. But I did have to battle my own stubbornness to pick up the larger hook size. And yes, the third swatch matched the dimensions that the pattern said it should. It makes me wonder how teachable I am on larger, more spiritual matters, if I resist following the instructions on simple crochet pattern.

"I continue to dream and pray about a revival of holiness in our day that moves forth in mission and creates authentic community in which each person can be unleashed through the empowerment of the Spirit to fulfill God's creational intentions." John Wesley

Good Friday

Who has believed our message? To whom will the Lord reveal his saving power? My servant grew up in the Lord's presence like a tender green shoot, sprouting from a root in dry and sterile ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected-a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God for his own sins! But he was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the guilt and sins of us all. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. From prison and trial they led him away to his death. But who among the people realized that he was dying for their sins-that he was suffering their punishment? He had done no wrong, and he never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man's grave. But it was the Lord's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord's plan will prosper in his hands. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. I will give him the honors of one who is mighty and great, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among those who were sinners. He bore the sins of many and interceded for sinners.

Isaiah 53, NLT