Most women's ministries, whether at the church or online, seem to be geared towards mommies. That's just the way it seems to be. I subscribe to a couple of devotional email lists and try to follow certain blogs, and most of them cover topics about motherhood. Then you have the major women's ministries such as mothers morning out and the like.
So, yeah, it makes me feel a little weird being a married, non-mommy. I've had to deal with people who think their two-month old belongs in the adult Sunday school class, not in the nursery. Or the well-meaning congregation members that introduce themselves and the first thing they ask is "do you have any children?" And once, when I responded in the negative, I was asked if we wanted children (to which I really wanted to respond with "why yes, my husband and I are having unprotected sex in hopes of conception").
I'm not meaning to be down on all the mommy-ministries. They're important. And, honestly, there are more mothers than non-mothers in the average church. But it's hard to get involved in a group when you're the only childless woman. Everyone else already has one thing in common, and you end up feeling like the oddball. And a lot of Christian moms don't understand women who are just as devout in their faith but don't want children. Or, if you're like me, and you do want children, but it's just not happening right now, it's awkward to answer questions.
So I guess the moral of the story is, when you meet that new woman in your small group or sitting behind you in the congregation, don't assume and be careful what you ask. Keep in mind not all of us have joined the ranks of motherhood and it can be a very painful and tricky topic.
1 comment:
Hi,
Found your blog and was reading through your posts when this one really grabbed me. I fully understand the feelings and thoughts you described. I have had my share of 'well meaning Christians' too and not just at the 'married w/out children' stage but also the 'single and not married' stage and the 'married with 2 kids and when are you going to have more?' stage. Most have been well meaning folks who have no clue how irritating that is. It used to really trouble me, but now, when a blessed sister asks one of those intrusive questions, I politely chuckle and remind myself NEVER to do that to sommeone else (actually firing back a comment would most definately require repentance later). FYI, I'm part of our church's women's ministry leadership so I'll keep this post in mind when planning upcoming events. Be blessed! :-)
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