married without children

Most women's ministries, whether at the church or online, seem to be geared towards mommies. That's just the way it seems to be. I subscribe to a couple of devotional email lists and try to follow certain blogs, and most of them cover topics about motherhood. Then you have the major women's ministries such as mothers morning out and the like.

So, yeah, it makes me feel a little weird being a married, non-mommy. I've had to deal with people who think their two-month old belongs in the adult Sunday school class, not in the nursery. Or the well-meaning congregation members that introduce themselves and the first thing they ask is "do you have any children?" And once, when I responded in the negative, I was asked if we wanted children (to which I really wanted to respond with "why yes, my husband and I are having unprotected sex in hopes of conception").

I'm not meaning to be down on all the mommy-ministries. They're important. And, honestly, there are more mothers than non-mothers in the average church. But it's hard to get involved in a group when you're the only childless woman. Everyone else already has one thing in common, and you end up feeling like the oddball. And a lot of Christian moms don't understand women who are just as devout in their faith but don't want children. Or, if you're like me, and you do want children, but it's just not happening right now, it's awkward to answer questions.

So I guess the moral of the story is, when you meet that new woman in your small group or sitting behind you in the congregation, don't assume and be careful what you ask. Keep in mind not all of us have joined the ranks of motherhood and it can be a very painful and tricky topic.

Is obesity a sin?

I recently read (well, partially read) the post "The Poison of Quaint Moralism" over at The Resurgence. While obesity isn't the point of Tyler Jone's article, one part really jumped out at me:

"The obesity crisis in our culture is a perfect example. We are killing ourselves with things that have the appearance of health but in actuality are destructive. No one has ever become obese from eating vegetables! No doctor has ever said, "Your consumption of grapes is going to be the end of you." No, it's the 2000-calorie hamburger with sausage and bacon on top that is making us obese. Commercials, web advertisements, and billboards depict our favorite indulgence, causing us to drool like Pavlov's dog before we consume to our own death. These foods have the appearance of health but they poison us."

Okay, yes, we Americans, in general, are a fat nation. But this is the second reference to obesity I've seen over at The Resurgence's website. The Resurgence is a website more or less devoted to Reformed theology/doctrine/etc. So why are they so down on people who have weight problems?

As I mentioned in an earlier post, weight problems can point to sin issues of overindulgence or lack of discipline. But is obesity in and of itself a sin? I've watched plenty of people diet, exercise and deny themselves every little pleasure of the food variety....and never drop a pound. These people do not overindulge but rather practice a level of discipline that I stand in awe of...but through a twist of genetics, they just can't drop those pounds.

As a woman, I already have too many expectations placed on me regarding my appearance coming from secular sources...now it seems like the church is going to start chiming in. To be the good Christian woman, do I need to wear khakis, blouses in pastel colors, have styled/colored hair, and wear a size 6? I'm already under enough pressure to have the right clothes, the right makeup, the right jewelry when I'm out in the world. I don't want to have to worry about those things when I walk into church on Sunday morning in order to worship.

Jesus, seekers, relevance and love

"We frequently hear evangelical Christians say that their non-Christian friends are "seeking God" or "searching for God." Why do we say this when Scripture so clearly teaches that no unregenerate person seeks after God? Thomas Aquinas observed that people are seeking happiness, peace, relief from guilt, personal fulfillment, and other such benefits. We understand that these benefits can be found ultimately in God alone. We draw the inference that, because these people are seeking what God alone can supply, they must be seeking God himself. This is our error. In our fallen condition we desire the benefits that only God can give us but we do not want him. We want the gifts without the Giver, the benefits without the Benefactor." R.C. Sproul, What is Reformed Theology?: Understanding the Basics

When I read this the other day, it brought me to a halt. It made think of all of the sermons and books I've heard and read about being a "seeker sensitive church". Of all the ways we scramble to try not to be offensive to outsiders because we don't want to scare them off.

How can we not be offensive?

What Christians believe is offensive at the core: that there is one God and only one way to that God. In our post-modern world of relativism, that's about as offensive as you can get.

So we take crosses out of the church and sing medleys of secular music to tie into our sermon series. And we assume that the seekers will flock to our church, here the gospel somewhere in our cutesy little sermon about how Jesus wants us to be happy, and then grow to be strong, discipled Christians.

But there are no seekers.

Earlier in the book, Sproul had quoted Romans 3:19-18, part of which states "There is none righteous, no, not one; There is none who understands; There is none who seeks after God. They have all gone out of the way; They have together become unprofitable; There is none who does good, no not one". Sprouls uses this verse to build on the concept of total depravity (or radical corruption as he calls it). To summarize the chapter, he is arguing that unless God calls us, we will not, cannot, seek Him by ourselves.

And if you just thought "Oh, God, she's a Calvinist" I would have to say "Yuppers."

But let's put the "C" word aside for now and focus on the gospel.

Jesus states in Luke 21:17 "All men will hate you because of me." That's about a straightforward as it gets. The world has never, and will never, love Christians. We are scorned because of Christ. And really, there's only one way that we won't be hated: we have to get rid of Christ.

And sadly, that's what some people have done.

To be more "relevant", they've torn apart his message, gotten rid of all the "naughty bits" about him being the only way. Gotten rid of all the tough love sermons about obedience. None of that "taking up your cross" crap. Just us and buddy Christ loving the world straight to hell.

I was chastised by a fellow Christian the other day when I expressed shock and disbelief at another Christian's blatant sin. He told me that she was just another hurting person that needed to be loved on. I couldn't help but think "can we really love someone out of hell?"

The Great Commission states: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:27-28) Maybe it's just me, but that sounds like a lot more than just loving on people.

Please don't get me wrong. Loving others important. In fact, it's commanded. And even Christ said that to love God and to love others is the sum of the Law. But my understanding of God doesn't stop there.

I've had a friend that for the past two years has been in a "gray area" of faith: stuck between living a Christian life and living her life any old way. Her theology revolves around what God can do for her. For two years I have loved on her, supported her, encouraged her. I have only gingerly corrected her theology once or twice. Out of concern for her feelings and not wanting to seem holier-than-thou, I have never once challenged her health/wealth/prosperity understanding of God. Loving her has not gotten her into church. Loving her has not gotten her to read her Bible. And to be honest, if I really loved her, and God, I would have the nerve to say "There's more to Jesus than what you see right now. Here, let me show you."