I was reading over the manifesto and came to a few parts that made me twinge:
We are called as women to affirm and encourage men as they seek to express godly masculinity, and to honor and support God-ordained male leadership in the home and in the church. (Mark 9:35; 10:42–45; Gen. 2:18; 1 Pet. 5:1–4; 1 Cor. 14:34; 1 Tim. 2:12–3:7)
When we respond humbly to male leadership in our homes and churches, we demonstrate a noble submission to authority that reflects Christ’s submission to God His Father. (Eph. 5:22–33; 1 Cor. 11:3)
I admit, I've struggled for a long time with the idea of submission to my husband. This struggle started long before I was married...before I had even met my husband. I remember sitting in a dorm room as a freshman, doing the ever so popular single girls Bible study, when we hit that famous Ephesians passage about wives submitting to their husbands. I felt such anger that I wanted to get up and walk out as the study leader extolled the virtues of submission to a group of girls who didn't even have a date for Friday night.
I could probably write a whole book of the journey God and I went on as He worked through all of my resentment against this idea of submission. I was lucky that He gave me such a great guy that it's usually easy to submit to my husband's authority (a good 95% of the time at least). It's just right now, our roles our switched.
My husband is going full time to school and works part-time on the weekends. I'm the bread winner of the family, working full time during the week. My paycheck pays the bills; my husband's paycheck keeps us out of the red. Because my husband gets home earlier than me and because he just enjoys it, he cooks most of our meals. During holidays, he takes up some of the "slack" for being home all week by cleaning house and tidying in general. I'm in charge of the money: balancing the checkbook, getting the bills paid, making sure we've tithed. After a long day at work, I can trust coming home to a reasonably clean house (my husband still loves "shortcuts" when it comes to cleaning), and my husband is usually in the kitchen getting dinner ready.
And this works for us.
It's true, sometimes when the stress is really bad at work I throw a temper tantrum about how easy he has it and he couldn't possibly understand what I go through every day. And there are times that he struggles with not being the provider for the family, feeling as if he fails to measure up to some hidden standard that I might be holding him to. But this is how it has to be for right now. God has a calling for us, and as of this moment that calling involves my husband finishing up school.
Sometimes reading things like the True Woman Manifesto makes my heart sink a little because my marriage isn't the traditional marriage. My husband has already met with some disapproval from the family over him not being the bread winner in our little family. And I always get some interesting looks from co-workers when I explain that my husband is a full-time student and a househusband. But I don't think God looks down on our marriage because we don't fit nicely into the traditional roles of marriage. If anything, I've definitely seen God protect our marriage this past year as we went through some pretty rough spots together. God has grown us closer together despite the roles we play in our family.
I'm still caught on whether or not I'm ready to sign my name on the dotted line for the Manifesto and join the True Woman movement. I agree with most of the other points that they make. I want to say its not because I still struggle with submission, but maybe it is. It might be interesting to sign up for the thirty day "make over" and see what comes of it. But why do I need to sign onto a movement to prove that I'm a True Woman to God anyway?
3 comments:
Part one of "True Woman Manifesto: A Response" is up at HEvencense. Here's the link: http://hevencense.wordpress.com/2009/01/01/true-woman-a-response/
I think the idea of submission is "mutual submission" and you feel your voice has been heard by your hand, you've both agreed, checked it out with God and it's working, then go for it.
If 10 years from now he isn't earning an income, then be worried.
I think the idea of the manifesto is to help strengthen the fabric of Christian values in a world where so many women are being brought up without any.
My feeling is that there has been a sense that those growing up unchurched and not introduced to the gospel are increasing and so there needs to be a call to us "older" women to be intentional about teaching the younger and upholding values in God's word.
My kid are now teens and through the years I've seen the destruction of families of many of their friends. There are so many families splitting up. A lot has to do with how a couple lives out their marriage. The statistics can't be ignored. When I share this others don't see it, but they don't have kids in the public school system where it is most apparent how many are from single parent homes. Once you are in the depth of it, you see a need for things like manifestos.
I am, however, a little suspect at things like this too. So many of this sort of things seem to be "one more movement" to sell books of those involved, and a reason to hold seminars and pay speakers. I do think, however, most are genuinely following what God has placed in their hearts.
I meant "husband" not "hand". I hit enter before I got to preview it.
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