Sunday, February 7, 2010

rejecting blessings

2010 has not been off to a good start. Misunderstandings between friends, a health scare with our cat, and the daily grind of life have all added up to one very drained chica here.

Then it got worse.

Long story short, my husband and I were in a fender-bender last night. Now we're facing paperwork, premiums, and busy schedules with only one car between us.

After everything settle down last night and we made it home and into our PJs, we crashed on the couch to replay the events of our disasterous evening. After sharing a miriad of what-ifs, we started recounting all of the things that had gone right: no one was hurt; the officer was calm and understanding; the expenses arent' goign to be quite as bad as we first thought. I kept saying "Life is hard, but God is good."

Yet at the same time, a not-so-small voice in my head was screaming "What?!?! Blessings?!??! What just happened was bad!!! Why are you trying to look at the good side, these so-called blessings? Are you stupid?!!?"

It was hard, but I refused to listen to that voice. Listening to the local Christian station in the car, I sing along to songs about God's goodness in the face of trials. But when those hard times hit, it's so easy to throw those lyrics out the window and grouse about my lousy luck. However, God is good, regardless of whether or not my emotions or situations say it is so. Oswald Chambers writes “Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.” When things get rough, it's hard to hold onto that faith you have when things are going your way. But God's character does not change as our situations do. His character is consistent, and that is the hope I lean on when it seems all else if failing around me.

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