holiday, holy day

Easter is almost here. Walking into Wal-Mart, chocolate bunnies and brightly colored basket-grass abound. While I don't have children myself, I get to listen to my coworkers talk about all the goodies they're getting for their children. I miss those long gone days of spring break and waking up to a basket of candy.

I miss Easter being a holiday.

But has it ever really been a holy day to me?

I didn't grow up in a church-going family. We didn't even go to church on Christmas or Easter. So the idea of a holy day, a day set apart for God, is a little foreign to me, even after a decade of being a believer. I've been trying to let the holiness of the seasons of Easter and Christmas sink in deeper. My husband and I celebrated Advent last year, and this year we've been following a more traditional Lenten fast of abstaining from meat.

But it's hard. I've found that just doing stuff (of not doing stuff in the case of Lent), hasn't really seemed to touch me deep down. Yes, it's been a challenge, but more often than not I find myself lamenting my cheeseburger-less state rather than dwelling on deeper, more spiritual things. I've been left wondering which is better: to practice the traditional holy days, etc. or to live "free" from such things. I like what Romans has to say:

One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. Romans 14:5, 6 ESV

I have no real conclusion as to what's best. And maybe one isn't better than the others; it's all about our attitude as we either eat or abstain, celebrate a certain day or spend it just like any other. That's the beautiful thing though: we are each so individual and God reaches out to us in completely unique ways. He doesn't use a set formula to reach Megan plus every other Christian on earth. He relates to me in a completely different way than He relates to anyone else. It makes me feel loved.

pondering Lent

It's hard to believe that Ash Wednesday is next month, which means the super-awesome vacation the hubby and I have planned out for the past year falls smack in the middle of Lent. My husband and I are they quirky little Southern Baptists that attend a United Methodist church and participate in Lent every year. But what can I give up when I go on my first over-seas trip of my life? My first thought was caffeine, but I'll need that for the 23+ hour flight. Next I thought I would give up my "reading habit" again this year, but I already have my copy of Anna Karena ready for the flight. Then today I thought maybe I could give up sweets, but we had planned on hitting up several confectioneries to sample foreign sweets.

But does Lent necessarily have to be about taking something away? More often than not, people give up something for Lent, but don't replace it with anything else: prayer, deeper Bible study, etc. I try to keep Lent fresh and real and keep it from becoming an empty ritual. This is a little bit easier since its not "required" for me as a Baptist. However, maybe it was just a little empty last year. Sure, I follow through with what I give up, but I don't necessarily focus on Christ and His work instead. It's just a minor blip on my radar, when the whole point of fasting at Lent is to re-focus the heart inward towards the spiritual realm.

Maybe its time for me to actually fast. I usually make sad little excuses for not fasting...I tend to be abominably cranky with lack of food, so I always say its better for me to not fast than to go without food and make life miserable for those around me (which is usually my husband). But if it wasn't hard, I suppose fasting wouldn't be a spiritual discipline.

Hm...now I have even more to ponder.