the weight of prayer

I am not a prayer warrior.

I simply struggle too much with prayer. Lately, I feel like there are just so many prayer requests out there that I get bogged down just at the thought of them. The requests of the ladies at Bible study; the requests in the Sunday morning bulletin at church; the needs of my family, both immediate and extended; salvation for lost friends and coworkers; the list seems never ending. Not to mention confessing my own sins and praying for my own spiritual growth/needs.

Where do I start? How do I start?

I've gotten to where I feel like prayer weighs me down, not lifts me up.

And books on prayer only seem to add to the weight. How-to's, lists, acronyms to remember what to prayer and in what order. So much to do that there is no time to simply sit in His presence; to sit there and just rest in Him feels ineffective and unproductive...and selfish! I could be praying for so many people in the time I take to try to listen to Him. And when I do try to just sit and listen, all those request start pinging around in my mind, demanding my attention.

I like what Sister Wendy Beckett had to say about prayer: "There seems to be a universal certainty that there is some secret about prayer that can be taught. People feel sure that they would be prepared to go to a great deal of trouble and experience considerable difficulties if that was the way to uncover this mysterious "secret." But prayer is essentially simple." (From Sister Wendy on Prayer).

I want simple prayer. I need simple prayer. More than that, I need to remember that prayer is not about me...it's about communing with Him. It's about the sheer, amazing fact that I, an infinite, fallible human, can commune with a eternal, infallible God...and that He wants me to! That is the truly amazing part...not just fulfilling some perceived duty.